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• THE BIG PIG Received the following communication from Poor Innocent Guy Asa of Montgomery, Alabama
  These should come in handy at work or when frequenting a doctor's office...
• Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.
• Minds are like parachutes; they function only when open.
• Minds, like parachutes, work only when open.
• Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend's frigid? A: When you open her legs the lights go on.
• How can you tell if your girlfriend's frigid? When you open her legs the lights go o
• W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l
  < -if you have to ask get out of the way- Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the window, and smash your face into the front fender?...
• What key has legs and can't open doors? A Turkey.
• Ways to Annoy a Public Bathroom Stallmate: 1. Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?
  2. Say, "Uh, oh, I knew I shouldn't have put my lips on that....