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From werner Wed Jul 13 14:06:34 1988
Flags: 000000000001
From: robison@m.cs.uiuc.edu (Arch Robison)
Subject: future computing newspaper
Keywords: original, smirk
Date: 6 Sep 88 15:30:03 GMT

Soon available at checkout counters everywhere:


*NATIONAL COMP SCI ENQUIRER*

EXCLUSIVE PHOTO: Turing machine with two heads!

STARTLING EVIDENCE: LISP came from Mars?

SHOCKING EXPOSE: Illegal core dumping in Lake Erie!

TRUE STORY: Man inverts singular matrix and lives to tell!

REVELATION: Top scientist discovers New Jersey on Karnaugh map!

OS SCANDAL: Unix and Ms. Dos found in love nest!

PSYCHIC PREDICTS: Fixed points will break again!

CIA SECRET: Proof of P=NP found in UFO!

ANALYSTS PANIC: Prime numbers missing from IEEE floating point?

SOFTWARE REVOLUTION: Marxists scheme classless Smalltalk!


- Arch D. Robison


From werner Wed Jul 13 14:06:34 1988
Flags: 000000000000
From: bill@bcsfse.UUCP (Bill Sears)
Subject: 4 Southern Belles
Keywords: swearing, smirk
Date: 7 Sep 88 03:30:03 GMT


Four southern belles were discussing their husbands one afternoon

1st Southern Belle: "Well, ah do declare, my husband is so good to me.
He brings me diamonds near' every day of the week. I got a diamond
ring for every finger."

2SB: "My My My"

3SB: "You know, my husbands is the same way. He brings me fur coats
all the time. I got a whole closet full of fur coats."

2SB: "My My My"

4SB: "Mine too. He takes me on cruises and trips. I've been nearly
everywhere on this whole blessed earth."

2SB: "My My My"

(Nervous pause)

1SB to 2SB: "How does your husband treat you?"

2SB: "Oh, my husband is good to me too. He sent me off to finishin' school."

(Nervous pause)

3SB to 2SB: "Finishin' school? What good is goin' to finishin' school?"

2SB: "Well, I used to say 'Fuck you, bitch', now I just say 'My My My.'"

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