Our old friend Ed (the Texas Aggie) and his life-long buddy, Earl,
went huntin' one day. They was walkin' through the woods when Earl
decided to relieve himself behind a bush... Well, he no sooner
dropped his overalls when a 6 foot rattlesnake popped outa no place
and bit him square on his privates.
Earl dropped to the ground in pain holding himself! Old square-
shootin' Ed ran over to the bush and blew the snake away.
Quickly assessin' the situation and the location of Earl's injury he
was in doubt as to what the proper course of action was. "Earl, you
been bit on a bad spot and I ain't quite sure as to what to do!" he
"I'm in awful pain, Ed, you gotta do something quick!" cried Earl.
"Run down the hill to that veterinarian and see if he won't come
Ed, took off runnin' feelin' that everythin' was gonna be okay if'n
he could get that old Aggie vet to come help his buddy. As he came
up ta the clinic the old vet was hoppin' in his pickup truck.
"Doc, Doc, ya gotta help my buddy he's been bit by a rattler!"
"Well, son, I wish I could help ya but I gotta run over ta the
Schultz farm and deliver a calf but let me tell you what ya gotta
do," said the vet.
"First, you grab the bit part in both hands and make two small
shallow X's on the fang marks. Then you put your mouth on the X's
and suck the venom out of the wound."
Ed thought for a moment then asked, "Doc, what happens if I don't do
The doc yelled out the window as he drove off, " Then he'll die!"
Ed hurried off back to Earl. Earl, still in mortal agony was
relieved to see him. Holding his purple, swollen privates he
pleaded, "Ed, what'd the Doc say?"
Ed looked at him mournfully. "Doc says you gonna die."
W H Y C O P S H A T E Y O U <<<<&l <
-if you have to ask get out of the way-
Have you ever been stopped by a traffic cop and, while he was
writing a ticket or giving you a warning, you got the feeling that
he would just love to yank you out of the car, right through the
window, and smash your face into the front fender?...