Related:

• Burns: I must have her! Smithers, zoom in. Closer!
  Closer! Closer, dammit! [the camera hits Marge in the forehead] Marge...
• At about 2500 A.D., humankind discovers a computer problem that *must* be solved.
  The only difficulty is that the problem is NP complete and will take thousands of years even with the latest optical biologic technology available....
• Burns: I want you to show this woman the time of her life.
  Homer: Gotcha. Marge, we're getting some drive-thru, then we're doing it twice!...
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Troy: [voiceover] When Krusty the clown got canceled, he tried everything to stay on the air.
  Here's what you didn't see. Krusty: Watch my show, I will send you this book featuring me in a variety of sexually explicit positions....
• To the unwashed public, that woman is a star. But to those who know her, she's a commodity who would sell her own bowel movement.
  -- Anthony Newley re: ex-wife Joan Colli...
• Homer's brain: This is it, Homer. It's time to tell her the horrible secret from your past.
  Homer: Marge I ate those fancy soaps you bought for the bathroom....
• I have just learned that only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy.
  First, let her think she's having her way. And second, let her have it. -- Lyndon B. Johnso...
• I trust only one thing in a woman: that she will not come to life again after she is dead.
  In all other things I distrust her. -- Antipanes (388-311 B.C.), Greek comic dramatist, Fragme...