Related:

• Otto: Hey, who's this "Homer" dude? Burns: He's either a 50-foot prehistoric ape, or a tourist trap concocted by the Ape Island Jaycees.
  Either way, we're going ashore. Marge: [walks into scene] Am I going too?...
• Reporter: What kind of show you got for us, Mr. Burns?
  Burns: Well, the Ape's going to stand around for three hours or so....
• IRS HUMOR EXAMPLE A: A lawyer, a doctor and a priest were marooned on a desert island.
  So we confiscated their homes. IRS HUMOR EXAMPLE B...
• Homer: Phew! I'm back. [walks up stairs to kitchen where family eats breakfast] Aw, my loving family!
  Nothing's changed. [a buzzer goes off; a TV screen morphs from the floor] Ned...
• Homer: [picks up a note] Karl's voice: Dear Mr. Simpson, I've taken the liberty of preparing your speech on the enclosed 3x5 cards.
  All the big words are spelled phonetically Home...
• I am from an island in the Pacific.
• Homer: [scarfing down donuts] Lenny: Hey, Homer, slow down.
  You're going to choke or something. Homer: Don't tell me how to eat donuts!...
• Marge: Inflation, trade deficits, horrible war atrocities .
  .. how are we supposed to do our big musical number with so many problems in the world?...
• Where do I find the time for not reading so many books? -- Karl Krau