Related:

• Bart: Do you need straight A's to be a cop? The Two Cop
  [laugh uproariously] -- Just checking, "Separate Vocatio...
• Homer: So what are <you> going to be, boy? Ba
  Policeman. Home...
• Bart: Wow! Can I see your club? Cop: It's called a baton, son.
  Bart: Oh. What's it for? Cop: We club people with it....
• The school is a police state. Students are afraid to sneeze.
  And I have you to thank....
• Bart: Police officer!? Well I'll be jiggered! Dr.J
  Heh heh heh. If you'd like to learn more, I could arrange for you to ride along in a police car for a night....
• Bart: Those Shelbyville kids think they're so hot, but you know what?
  They're not. Milhouse: I really agree with you on this one, Bart....
• Patience serves as a protection against wrongs as clothes do against cold.
  For if you put on more clothes as the cold increases, it will have no power to hurt you....
• Wiggum: I'd like to help you ma'am, but, heh heh, I'm afraid there's no law against mailing threatening letters.
  Marge: [indignantly] I'm pretty sure there is. Wiggum...
• Bart: So...how do you like being Miss Popularity? Lisa
  Oh, well, you know, it ain't so great. [Bart looks at her] Bart, it's the best thing that ever happened to me in my whole life!...