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Goon #1: Don't Hurt Us! Goon #2: We Surrender! Goon #1
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Goon #1: Don't hurt us!
Goon #2: We surrender!
Goon #1: We were only following orders!
-- A likely story, "Bart the General"
Related:
Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs? -- from The Goon Show
The rules of editing press releases are: 1. Identify the crucial elements of the story.
2. Omit at least one of them. -- From a Slashdot....
Guide: On May 21, 1864, the men of the Ninth Bearded Infantry were sunning and fluffing their beards in the sun.
Suddenly, enemy troops crested that hill over there....
Indian #1: Thank you. I just wish Ben and Hoss and Little Joe and Hop Sing and Sheriff Roy and all your favorites could be alive today to see this wonderful turnout.
Indian #2: You know, on the series, we were always trying to kill the Cartwrights....
We pay for the mistakes of our ancestors, and it seems only fair that they should leave us the money to pay with.
-- Don Marqui...
Man 1: I'll stop them! [throws a boomerang which skims Bart's hair] Oh, no!
It's coming back this way! Man 2: That throwing stick stunt of yours has boomeranged on us....
Bart: What is this place? Nerd 1: The refuge of the damned.
Martin: [gleeful] A place where we can work on our extra-credit assignments without fear of reprisal....
Edna: Well, well, if it isn't Marge Simpson and her gangland cronies.
Maude: Your goon squads certainly gave you the edge in the mobile snack business....
I am a Jew. Hath not a Jew eyes? hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions?
fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer, as a Christian is?...