Guide: On May 21, 1864, the men of the Ninth Bearded Infantry were
sunning and fluffing their beards in the sun. Suddenly, enemy
troops crested that hill over there.
Man 1: Fort Springfield, we surrender unconditionally!
Man 2: We're sick. We need leeches and hacksaws to saw off our
gangrenous limbs!
Guide: But the Springfield Brigade was too brave to accept the
surrender.
Man 3: Come on, boys! Those white flags are no match for our muskets.
[they charge]
Guide: And the Springfielders heroically slaughtered their enemies as
they prayed for mercy.
[the children watch the mayhem and cheer]
-- Violence sells, "The PTA Disbands"
sunning and fluffing their beards in the sun. Suddenly, enemy
troops crested that hill over there.
Man 1: Fort Springfield, we surrender unconditionally!
Man 2: We're sick. We need leeches and hacksaws to saw off our
gangrenous limbs!
Guide: But the Springfield Brigade was too brave to accept the
surrender.
Man 3: Come on, boys! Those white flags are no match for our muskets.
[they charge]
Guide: And the Springfielders heroically slaughtered their enemies as
they prayed for mercy.
[the children watch the mayhem and cheer]
-- Violence sells, "The PTA Disbands"
Related:
- Guide: This civil war cannon had been fully restored and is in ready-to-
fire condition. But it's a good thing we're _not_... - Ned: [nervous] Well, a friendly Springfield "Hello" there,
neighbors. Uh, you know, we think some kids... - We hire Orcus to be our guide.
--
Famous Last... - Kirk: "Signal our surrender."
Uhura: "Captain?"
Kirk:
"We surrender!" -- "STVI:TUC", Stardate 9523... - Goon #1: Don't hurt us!
Goon #2: We surrender!
Goon #1:
We were only following orders! -- A likely story... - Smithers: Well, Sir, you've certainly vanquished all your enemies:
the Elementary School, the local tavern,... - Bart: It's hard to see what's going on; I can only make out the fat
soldiers.
Skinner: All right, children, switch. [one... - Guide: Many interesting and important things have been put into boxes
over the years:
textiles, other boxes, even children's candy. Milhouse... - The Bible on letters of reference:
Are we beginning all over again to produce our credentials?
Do we, like some people, need letters of introduction...
