Related:

• Lionel Hutz, attorney-at-law. What's that, a broken neck?
  Great! -- Chasing a gurney down the corridor, "Bart Gets Hit by a Ca...
• Hutz: Hutz is the name, Mr. Simpson. Lionel Hutz, attorney at law.
  Here's my card. It turns into a sponge when you put it in water....
• The Supreme Court called again. They need your help on some freedom thing.
  -- Della, Lionel Hutz' secretary, "Bart Gets Hit by a Ca...
• Mr. Simpson, the state bar forbids me from promising you a big cash settlement.
  But just between you and me, I promise you a big cash settlement....
• With all due respect, Mrs. Simpson, you're not a doctor, the boy's not a doctor, the only person who even comes CLOSE is this man [Nick Riviera].
  -- Lionel Hutz responding to Marge's skepticism, "Bart Gets Hit by a Ca...
• Lisa: Excuse me, Mr. Hutz. Are you a shyster? Hutz
  How does a nice little girl like you know a big word like that?...
• Homer: The doctor says it's just a bump on the head and a broken toe, nothing serious.
  Hutz: Pfft. Doctors. Doctors are idiots! -- "Bart Gets Hit by a Ca...
• Bailiff: Do you promise to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God?
  Marge: Mmm... Yes, I do. Hutz: She sounded like she was taking that awful seriously....
• Satan: Remember: Lie, cheat, steal, and listen to heavy metal music!
  Bart: Yes, sir! -- Some parting advice, "Bart Gets Hit by a Ca...