Related:

• Dear Bart, I am using the stationery Mom and Dad gave me &l
  for my birthday> to inform you that we are now brother and sister in name only....
• I saw the best meals of my generation destroyed by the madness of my brother.
  My soul carved in slices by spikey-haired demons. -- `Howl of the Unappreciated' by Lisa Simpson, "Bart vs....
• Lisa: [sobs] Mom, this is really scary. I'm going to get my first F ever.
  Marge: Cheer up! So you're not good at sports: it's a very small part of life....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• Bart: May I have some more lima beans, please? Lisa
  Certainly. [gives him a few] Bart: More than that....
• Homer: [yelling to be heard] You really did it this time, Bart!
  You're in for the punishment of a lifetime!...
• Lisa: Mom, I poured my heart into that centerpiece!
  [which Bart destroyed] Things like that &l...
• Homer: I think Lisa needs another push on her new tire swing!
  Lisa: No, Dad, I want to get down. This tire is filthy and the steel belts are poking me....
• Lisa: Dad, this isn't about glue. It's about territoriality.
  He only wants the glue because I'm using it....