Related:

• It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.
• The following is a recommendation from the personnel director to the president of Acme Publishing Company.
  "Many other companies have recently stated that having their employees take the Easy Read Speed-Reading Course has greatly improved productivity....
• It is more important to allocate money for immediate, existing social problems than to spend it on long-term research that might help future generations.
• In a democratic society where the economic motive is strong, it is extremely difficult to give up short-term economic benefits for a long-term reason.
  -- Anthony Lewi...
• XLVII: Two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered with water.
  The other third is covered with auditors from headquarters....
• Burns: Ah, well, if it isn't the Simps! Homer: Uh, it's Simp-son, sir.
  Burns: Eh? [refers to the index card] Oh, yes. Homer and Marge Simpson....
• Burns: Simpson, how old do you think I am? Homer: I dunno.
  A hundred and two? Burns: [sadly] I'm only eighty-one....