Commandant: Well, Cadets, It's Been A Great Year. You've All Worked Very Hard Developing Academic Skills And General Killing Skills.

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Commandant: Well, cadets, it's been a great year. You've all worked
very hard developing academic skills and general killing
skills.
Bart: [aside to Lisa] My killing teacher says I'm a natural.
Commandant: But these skills are nothing without courage and stamina.
Traditionally, the academy tested these virtues by pitting
you against each other in a two-day battle royale.
[the cadets gasp]
That was prior to 1957, thank you very much state Supreme
Court. Consequently now, no cadet can receive a passing
grade for the academic year without first conquering this:
[gestures to a field overgrown with thorny bushes. At
either end of the field are two platforms mounted on high
poles. A rope is strung between each platform]
Meet the Eliminator. That's a 150-foot hand-over-hand
crawl across a sixty-gauge hemp-jute line with a blister
factor of twelve. The rope is suspended a full forty feet
over a solid British acre of old-growth Connecticut Valley
thorn bushes.
[turns to cadets]
Gentlemen, welcome to flavor country.
Lisa: This wasn't in the brochure.
-- And you thought finals were tough,
"The Secret War of Lisa Simpson"

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