Hapablap: What In The World According To Garp -- ?

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Hapablap: What in the world according to Garp -- ? Those are my dress
[tries the locked door]
Who's in my private washroom? McGuckett, let me in.
Bob: [effecting a cornpone accent] The door already is closed.
Hapablap: What?! This is Colonel Leslie "Hap" Hapablap. If you don't
open that door I'll tear you up like a Kleenex at a snot
Bob: You say you're in the military?
Hapablap: Sweet Enola Gay, Son! I'm going to come in there and corpse
you up -- corpse you up and mail you to mama!
[breaks the door open and rushes in]
Well, where'd he go? Got my knuckles all lined up for
[kisses his hand]
Sorry, ladies.
-- Bob spars verbally, "Sideshow Bob's Last Gleaming"