Teacher: Is Something Wrong, Mr. Simpson? Bart: I Don't Like Wearing Tights, Ma'am.

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Teacher: Is something wrong, Mr. Simpson?
Bart: I don't like wearing tights, ma'am.
Teacher: But so many of your heroes wear tights: Batman, for example,
and...Magellan.
Bart: Look, I don't like this cootie platoon and I never well. I'm
out of here, and I'm out of this stupid outfit.
[struggles to take it off; struggles turn graceful]
Wait! Joy of movement increasing. Love of dance impossible to
resist.
[the other girls gasp with delight]
Toes twinkling...look at me, girls! I'm doing ballet...and I
love it!
-- At least he's not wizzing with the door open,
"Homer vs. Patty and Selma"

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