Related:

• Brockman: In a completely unrelated story, Montgomery Burns has just closed a deal to buy the Springfield Blood Bank.
  Burns: [blood on his cheek] Ooh, I'm very excited about this deal....
• Kent: Dozens of people are gunned down each day in Springfield, but until now none of them was important.
  I'm Kent Brockman. [scene shows Burns being loaded into an ambulance] At three p....
• I'm a vampire, and I've come to suck your blood! [His false fangs fall out and he crashes into the refrigerator] Oh!
  [weakly] This cape is giving me a rash. -- Fearsome Vampire Abe, "Treehouse of Horror IV...
• This is dangerous. I wish we could have found a sitter for Maggie.
  ..} -- Marge, on a quest to kill Vampire Burns, "Treehouse of Horror IV...
• Whoe'er has travell'd life's dull round, Where'er his stages may have been, May sigh to think he still has found The warmest welcome at an inn.
  -- William Shenstone (1714-1763) -- Written on a Window of an I...
• The only people who do not make mistakes are dead people.
  I saw a man last week who has not made a mistake in four thousand years....
• MUMMY, n. An ancient Egyptian, formerly in universal use among modern civilized nations as medicine, and now engaged in supplying art with an excellent pigment.
  He is handy, too, in museums in gratifying the vulgar curiosity that serves to distinguish man from the lower animals....
• Sign outside Cape Canaveral says, "Cape Canaveral Formerly Cape Kennedy Formerly Cape Arbuckle" Cape Canaveral was formerly named Cape Kennedy
  and before that was named Cape Canaveral (yes, the name was changed, then changed back)....
• An honest god is the noblest work of man. ... God has always resembled his creators.
  He hated and loved what they hated and loved and he was invariably found on the side of those in power....