Homer: Son, if you can look me in the eye and say you didn't take the collection money,

Homer: Son, if you can look me in the eye and say you didn't take the
collection money, that's all I need.
Bart: [looking at him] I didn't take it.
Homer: Why you little -- [strangles him] How can you look me in the eye
and lie like that?
Marge: Homer, stop it! I believe him.
Homer: Tell me: if he didn't take the money, why is he wearing those
fancy clothes?
Marge: [sighs] That's what he wore to church.
Homer: Oh, how convenient!
Marge: Bart, honey, do you know who _did_ take the money?
Bart: [pause] No.
Homer: See, son? Telling the truth isn't so bad.
-- Black is white, "Bart's Girlfriend"