Related:

• Burns: Yes, by cutting off cable TV and the beer supply, I can ensure an honest winter's work out of those low-lives.
  Smithers: Sir, did you ever stop to think that [closes car trunk] maybe it was doing _this_ that caused the previous caretakers to go insane and murder their families?...
• A dumb sitcom is shown on TV]} Burns: {Smithers, I'm home!
  [canned laughter]} Smithers: {What, already? [canned chuckle]} Bu...
• Smithers: Sir, the actors are here to audition for the part of you.
  Burns: Excellent. [Anthony Hopkins is wheeled in restrained a la Hannibal Lecter] Hopki...
• Burns: I don't know what's happening. It seems our profits have dropped 37%.
  Smithers: I'm afraid we have a bad image, Sir. Market research shows people see you as something of an ogre....
• Burns: Heh heh, look, Smithers -- a creature of pure malevolence.
  He's the perfect one to suckle at my proverbial teat....
• Moe: Don't worry about nothing, Homer. I have a feeling that Mr.
  Burns is going to have a little accident that might keep him from bowling with us tonight, heh heh heh....
• Homer: All right, all right. Who took the funny pages?
  Smithers: [reading to Burns] So Ziggy goes to the repair shop, there's a sign on the doorbell reading `out of order'....
• Smithers: Sir, bad news from accounting: the economy's hit us pretty hard.
  Burns: Heh, tough times, huh? I've lived through twelve recessions, eight panics, and five years of McKinleynomics....
• Burns: {I don't remember writing a check for bowling.
  } Smithers: {Uh, Sir, that's a check for your _boweling_....