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• I was thrown out of N.Y.U. my freshman year. . . for cheating on my metaphysics final.
  You know, I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me....
• Eighty percent of success is showing up. -- Woody Allen (1935-____) U.S. comedian, actor, directo
• In Beverly Hills. . . they don't throw their garbage away.
  They make it into television shows. -- Woody Allen (1935-____) U.S. comedian, actor, directo...
• I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.
  -- Woody Allen (1935-____) U.S. comedian, actor, directo...
• What are you doing Saturday night?" "Committing suicide.
  "What are you doing Friday night?" -- Woody Allen, "Play It Again, Sam...
• Afterlyfe.sys not found! Do you want to re-incarnate?
• And the RESET button lets you re-run AUTOEXEC.BAT!
• Fairly boring message:) This is John. I can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave a message at the tone, I'll return your call.
  (Now, re-record the message every morning. Frequent callers will notice that something sounds different, but will be confused since the words are exactly the same....
• Actor: Woody Allen - Real name: Allen Stewart Konigsberg