Related:

• Five out of four people have problems with fractions.
• You know you're in trouble when... 1) You wake up face down on the pavement.
  2) Your wife wakes up feeling amorous and you have a headache....
• You know you're in trouble when... (1) Your only son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind her own business.
  (2) You put your bra on backwards and it fits better....
• 1 out of every 5 people thinks the other 4 are idiots.
• You know you're in trouble when... (1) You've been at work for an hour before you notice that your skirt is caught in your pantyhose.
  (2) Your blind date turns out to be your ex-wife. (3) Your income tax check bounces....
• A recent study shows that people living on the continent of North America suffer 9 times more chronic fatigue and 31 times more chronic depression than do people living on the continent of Asia.
  Interestingly, Asians, on average, eat 20 grams of soy per day, whereas North Americans eat virtually none....
• 4 out of 5 doctors say that if they were stranded on a deserted island with no lawyers, they wouldn't need ANY aspirin.
• Americans' greatest fear is that America will turn out to have been a phenomenon, not a civilization.
  -- Shirley Hazzard, "Transit of Venu...