Related:

• The only happiness lies in reason; all the rest of the world is dismal.
  The highest reason, however, I see in the work of the artist, and he may experience it as such....
• Consciously or unconsciously, every one of us does render some service or other.
  If we cultivate the habit of doing this service deliberately, our desire for service will steadily grow stronger, and will make, not only our own happiness, but that of the world at large....
• Just one atomic bomb could ruin your whole day.
• Know you of such a bird? No...but we could _make_ one.
  .. No, we _couldn't_, Baldrick...Oh, I suppose you have to be told some- time....
• A feed salesman is on his way to a farm. As he's driving along at forty m.
  p.h., he looks out his car window and sees a three-legged chicken running alongside him, keeping pace with his car....
• Boxing is the only sport in the world where two men get paid for doing something to each other that if they did otherwise
  hey would get arrested for doing, particularly if one or both of them had been drinking beforehand....
• I love women....I'm just not sure if I could eat a whole one!
• How does one distinguish these two statements from each other?
  'I don't make the laws, I just enforce them.' 'I vus only followink orders.'...
• The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.
  -- Johnny Carso...