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• A man's best friend is his dogma.
• A cat's best friend is his teddy bear. -- Garfield.
• Ant Boy calmly prepares to execute his new friend ant-style.
  .. by PINCHING OFF HIS HEAD! -- Ant Boy...
• The best part of him ran down his mother's legs. -- Jackie Gleaso
• My best friend at home was a fellow named Sappo. He's my best friend in the world but he's ugly.
  When he was born the doctor slapped his mother. She used to have morning sickness after he was born....
• Marge, TV gives so much and asks so little. It's a boy's best friend.
  -- Homer explains, "When Flanders Failed...
• No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend. -- Groucho Marx