Related:

• SYLPH, n. An immaterial but visible being that inhabited the air when the air was an element and before it was fatally polluted with factory smoke, sewer gas and similar products of civilization.
  Sylphs were allied to gnomes, nymphs and salamanders, which dwelt, respectively, in earth, water and fire, all now insalubrious....
• Bride, n.: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• CURIOSITY, n. An objectionable quality of the female mind.
  The desire to know whether or not a woman is cursed with curiosity is one of the most active and insatiable passions of the masculine soul....
• POCKET, n. The cradle of motive and the grave of conscience.
  In woman this organ is lacking; so she acts without motive, and her conscience, denied burial, remains ever alive, confessing the sins of others....
• EAVESDROP, v.i. Secretly to overhear a catalogue of the crimes and vices of another or yourself.
  A lady with one of her ears applied To an open keyhole heard, inside, Two female gossips in converse free -- The subject engaging them was she....
• Female: One of the opposing, or unfair, sex. -- Ambrose Bierce: "The Devil's Dictionary
• Garter, n.: An elastic band intended to keep a woman from coming out of her stockings and desolating the country.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...