Related:

• Homer: This isn't fair! How can you tell who's sane and who's insane?
  Doctor: Well, we have a very simple method. [stamps his hand, `INSANE'] Whoever has that stamp on his hand is insane....
• He dies twice who perishes by his own hand. Latin Proverb
• That was his dish... And that was his leash... And that's where he took a wizz on the rug.
  .. [sobs] -- Homer looks back on the days with Santa's Little Helper, "Dog of Death...
• This one is for all you military types. For those who don't know, Rangers are *extremely* well trained members of the U.
  S. Army. Marines are people who start out as normal soldiers and then are made to believe that bullets don't actually hurt....
• If a subordinate asks you a pertinent question, look at him as if he had lost his senses.
  When he looks down, paraphrase the question back at him....
• Bart: Hey, boy, you want to play fetch? [SLH looks up, tired, then puts his head back down] Aw.
  Me and Santa's Little Helper used to be a team, but he never wants to play any more since his bitch moved in....
• Once upon a time there were three brothers who were knights in a certain kingdom.
  And, there was a Princess in a neighboring kingdom who was of marriageable age....
• Smithers: [feeding him] Here comes the endangered condor into the power lines.
  .. I've got Bobo hot from the dryer. Careful not to burn yourself on his eye....
• He who puts up with insult invites injury. Jewish Proverb