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• Help! I've got a cat in my lap and I can't get up!
• I need all the help I can get!
• Help! I'm a turtle and I can't get up.
• HELP! I screwed up my girlfriend's Computer!
• I can help; my fees are reasonable.
• My only books Were woman's looks,-- And folly 's all they 've taught me.
  -- Thomas Moore (1779-1852) -- The Time I 've lost in wooing...
• HELP! I've fallen and I can't get up! (Nice carpet!)
• SPOCK HELP, I've Beamed Down and I can't get up.
• When I 'm not thank'd at all, I 'm thank'd enough; I 've done my duty, and I 've done no more.
  -- Henry Fielding (1707-1754) -- Tom Thumb the Great, Act i, Sc. 3...