Related:

• Think you, if Laura had been Petrarch's Wife, he would have written Sonnets all his life? -- Byro
• Harry constantly irritated his friends with his eternal optimism.
  No matter how bad the situation, he would always say, "Well, it could have been worse....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• He read in the paper that it takes ten dollars a year to support a kid in India.
  So he sent his kid there. -- Red Butto...
• Nimoy: And so, from this simple man came the proof that we are not alone in the universe.
  I'm Leonard Nimoy. Good night. Teenager: [off-camera] Uh, Mr....
• The world's most avid baseball fan (an Aggie) had arrived at the stadium for the first game of the World Series only to realize he had left his ticket at home.
  Not wanting to miss any of the first inning, he went to the ticket booth and got in a long line for another seat....
• A manager asked a programmer how long it would take him to finish the program on which he was working.
  I will be finished tomorrow," the programmer promptly replied....
• I bought a cassette tape on how to be successful. It was one of those subliminal tapes, a motivational cassette.
  It was $19.95 and it kept saying, "Don't ask for your money back, don't ask for your money back....
• Marge: Homer [knocks again] Homer, why aren't you at work?
  Homer: The car won't start. I don't feel very good today....