HAGGIS A Scottish dish made of the heart, lungs, and liver of a sheep,

HAGGIS
A Scottish dish made of the heart, lungs, and liver of a sheep,
chopped up with suet, onions, oatmeal etc, seasoned and boiled in a
sheep's stomach-bag or substitute. I think I'm going to be sick.
Have you ever considered the argument that vomit is a lifeform
in itself, subject to the same foibles as the rest of lifekind?
Pretty stupid idea, huh? Well, I thought so too, until I was
convinced by a most holy and devout man, shouting very loudly in
the street one day. He told me that vomit was food that was reborn.
He gave me a leaflet about it, and - do you know - it changed my
life. Suddenly, I could look at vomit the way I had never looked at
vomit before. It became part of me. I could talk to it, express
myself to it, and before long, take it for picnics in the forest.
And the vomit would talk back. It would read me poems. It would
sing songs about regurgitation. And it would tell me jokes. Very
bad jokes. It would tell me jokes with incredibly bad punch lines.
And I eventually came to a conclusion. That vomit is sick.
-- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA