Related:

• WALLET Small container for carrying vital items such as credit cards, money, etc.
  Wallets traditionally vanish from your person at the most inconvenient time, resulting in you making a futile tour of your pockets looking for it, despite knowing full well you've left it at home....
• QWERTY Type of keyboard designed to slow the typist down and confuse people who are learning to type.
  -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA...
• COMPUTER An electronic device designed to make you rip your hair out.
  The principles of a computer are very simple. You give the computer some data as input, it messes, mixes, scrambles and screws up the data until it is nonsensical and unrecognisable, and then it spits it out the other end as output....
• University lecturers are people who have a profound influence on our society.
  They are people with a message; a message that the world should listen to....
• VOLUNTARY Descriptive of an action which you are doing purely because you have been embarrassed into it.
  -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA...
• GENERATION, OLDER The people that don't understand you. -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA
• GENERATION, YOUNGER The people that you don't understand. -- Daniel Bowen's TOXIC CUSTARPEDIA
• UFO Unidentified Flying Object. Also known by the acronym ACATMTTSAFMCAMMFFDOMLAIPIMSAMMP (Aliens Came And Took Me To Their Spaceship And Fed Me Cornflakes And Made Me Forget Five Days Of My Life And Inserted Probes Into My Skull And Made Me Pregnant.
  ) It is now almost certain that UFOs were specifically designed to enable poor country-folk to rip off current affairs shows....
• TOXIC CUSTARD WORKSHOP FILES Fictional alleged humour written during the early-1990s by some deranged git in Australia.
  Now known to cause permanent brain damage if consumed for long periods of time....