Related:

• The wimple suits you, Baldrick. But...it completely covers my face.
  .. Exactly... -- Edmund and Baldrick : Captain Cook...
• Would you like some rat au vin to help you think? .
  ..Rat au vin? Yes. It's rat... ...thats been run over by a van....
• Oh, come, come, sir - now, you can't deny that this newspaper is good for the morale of the men?
  Certainly not. I just feel more could be achieved by giving them some _real_ toilet paper....
• My mother...will be as pleased as Punch. Mmmm...if only she we're as _good-looking_ as Punch, Baldrick.
  .. -- Baldrick and Edmund : Captain Cook...
• I have a cunning plan to get us out of being killed, sir.
  Oh yes? What is it? Cooking... I see. (moves off) -- Baldrick and Edmund : Captain Cook...
• I smell something fishy - and I'm not talking about the contents of Baldrick's apple crumble.
  .. -- Edmund : Captain Cook...
• I'd only just put it there. But now, I will leave it there forever.
  ...Quite so, Baldrick. It can be your lucky willy. -- Baldrick and Edmund : Bell...
• You see, you know they say that somewhere there's a bullet with your name on it?
  Yeeees.... Well, I thought if I _owned_ the bullet with my name on it, I'd never get hit....
• You're the worst cook in the entire _world_. There are.
  ..amoeba on Saturn who could boil a better egg then you... -- Edmund to Baldrick : Captain Cook...