Related:

• Burns: Have you, uh, found any dirt on Mary Bailey?
  Advisor 1: Well, we've gone through her garbage. Advisor 2...
• AN INFORMED SOURCE - The guy who told the guy you just met.
  -- THE ALL-PURPOSE BUSINESSMAN'S VOCABULARY...
• How many QA engineers -- does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
  3: 1 to screw it in and 2 to say "I told you so" when it doesn't work....
• How many librarians -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  I don't know, but I can look it up for you....
• How many bureaucrats -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  Two. One to screw it in and one to screw it up....
• Hang up, call me back, and say the exact opposite of everything you just said.
  -- Herbert, to his advisor, "Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?...
• There's always one guy who tries to impress you with how big a joint he can roll.
  The guy takes the Sunday Times, drops a kilo brick in with the strings on it ....
• Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining, or testing your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live.
  -- Dave Carha...
• How many survivors of a nuclear war -- does it take to screw in a light bulb?
  None, you just hold it up and it glows by itself....