Related:

• I think that a hat which has a little cannon that fires and then goes back inside the hat is at least a decade away.
  -- Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey...
• Let others hail the rising sun: I bow to that whose course is run.
  -- David Garrick (1716-1779) -- On the Death of Mr. Pelham...
• That was his dish... And that was his leash... And that's where he took a wizz on the rug.
  .. [sobs] -- Homer looks back on the days with Santa's Little Helper, "Dog of Death...
• There is a calling under the breath, a cry that goes on long as a vein.
  It is the last senseless moment of the organism, the instant of death that cries back through the narrows of air from the ferrous edge....
• A windy April is death to little pigs.
• Forward goes the vanguard of the lunatic fringe, tickling the death clowns of normality.
  -- HealNorm...
• Guard: "How's she doing?" Kirk: "He's going to be fine.
  Guard: "He? I thought you brought in a woman." Kirk...
• Guard: [condescending] Do you work here, little boy?
  Bart: Yeah! Guard: [formal] Well then, go right in, Sir!...
• ARTHUR: Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot?
  ! GUARD #1: But then of course African swallows are not migratory....