Related:

• APHORISM, n. Predigested wisdom. The flabby wine-skin of his brain Yields to some pathologic strain, And voids from its unstored abysm The driblet of an aphorism.
• MISDEMEANOR, n. An infraction of the law having less dignity than a felony and constituting no claim to admittance into the best criminal society.
  By misdemeanors he essays to climb Into the aristocracy of crime....
• Speak of the Devil and he will hear about it. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary
• LITIGANT, n. A person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bones.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• WINE, n. Fermented grape-juice known to the Women's Christian Union as "liquor," sometimes as "rum.
  Wine, madam, is God's next best gift to man. -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• LUMINARY, n. One who throws light upon a subject; as an editor by not writing about it.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• ELECTRICITY, n. The power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else.
  It is the same thing as lightning, and its famous attempt to strike Dr....
• AUCTIONEER, n. The man who proclaims with a hammer that he has picked a pocket with his tongue.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...