Related:

• QUOTIENT, n. A number showing how many times a sum of money belonging to one person is contained in the pocket of another -- usually about as many times as it can be got there.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• CONFIDANT, CONFIDANTE, n. One entrusted by A with the secrets of B, confided by _him_ to C.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Labor, n.: One of the processes by which A acquires property for B.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• LAND, n. A part of the earth's surface, considered as property.
  The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society, and is eminently worthy of the superstructure....
• FORGETFULNESS, n. A gift of God bestowed upon doctors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...