Related:

• Discover that you *can* eat seaweed. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• If you like riding horses, consider going back to the traditional side-saddle mode.
  You will fall off far less. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Don't become a concert pianist. They use the soft pedal as *well* as the damper.
  Be thankful you never liked organs, because you don't stand a chance....
• Trade in your Harley-Davidson for a motor scooter. That way you won't have to make a choice about whether you get to change gears, or use the brakes.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Sell your mountain-side chalet. You never used it much anyway.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Try to appreciate sex with your knees tied together.
  (This may be slightly more challenging if you are female....
• Don't settle for anything less than a Seiko Sports 100.
  -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid....
• Don't worry about ladders in your stockings. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.
• Drink like a fish. Try to get legless. -- Forty-two things to do as preparation for life as a mermaid.