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• The only truly indigenous American inventions are Thanksgiving turkey and fingerfucking.
  -- Lyndon Baines Johnso...
• Service: 1) What a bull does with a cow. 2) What the Phone Co. provide
• The existence of a market does not guarantee the existence of a customer.
• Interviewer: So you are the camp co-ordinator. What does that entail?
  Venture Scout: Well, basically, I co-ordinate the camp. -- '8.15 From Manchester', BBC1 TV...
• What is the IRS deduction for co-dependants?
• What goes in, comes out. -- Richard N. Farme
• Your dedication and tireless work on the hostage thing, with Central America, really gave me cause for great pride in you and thanks.
  Get some turkey, George Bush. -- A thanksgiving letter to Oliver North, 1985...
• You really never lose until you stop trying. -- Mike Ditka
• How many science fiction writers -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Two, but it's actually the same person doing it. He went back in time and met himself in the doorway and then the first one sat on the other one's shoulder so that they were able to reach it....