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• While modern technology has given people powerful new communication tools, it apparently can do nothing to alter the fact that many people have nothing useful to say.
  -- Lee Gomes, San Jose Mercury New...
• This passage was written by a London reporter on the eve of the England-West Germany Soccer World Cup final of 1966.
  .. "If, on the morrow, the Germans defeat us at our national sport, be not dismayed....
• White Castle hamburgers are the reason that toilet paper exists...
• You may be redneck... if you've taken toilet paper home from work.
• Save on toilet paper...use both sides!
• PTP: Produce Toilet Pape
• I have always wondered way they always refer to toilet paper as facial quality.
  I am not going to use it on my face, (although there are some who think I do anyway!)....
• Where's the toilet paper? I have to take a Limbaugh.
• Even if we put all these nagging thoughts [four embarrassing questions about astrology] aside for a moment, one overriding question remains to be asked.
  Why would the positions of celestial objects at the moment of birth have an effect on our characters, lives, or destinies?...