Related:

• Someone can always be found, lurking about out there in the bushes somewhere
  who can tell you what you intended to say far better than you can, so be very careful what you say when outside, walking around among bushes....
• Homer: Welcome to the Simpson residence or "casa de Simpson," as I call it.
  Grimes: Yeah, what did you want to see me about, Simpson?...
• An authority is somebody who can tell you more about something than you really care to know.
• A master was asked the question, "What is the Way?" by a curious monk.
  "It is right before your eyes," said the master. "Why do I not see it for myself?...
• See, Marge, who needs a car-wash when you can just drive around in the rain?
  -- Homer, "Treehouse of Horror VII...
• Did you hear about the fellow who decided to start procrastinating but never got around to it.
• Y'know, every once in a while, when you look off into the distance
  you can see a shimmering in the atmosphere's coefficient of refraction, as someone, someone small and slow on the horizon, gets a clue....
• It's only when the tide goes out that you learn who's been swimming naked. -- Warren Buffe