Safety Tips for the Post-Nuclear Existence
Tip #1: How to tell when you are dead.
1. Little things start bothering you: little things like worms,
bugs, ants.
2. Something is missing in your personal relationships.
3. Your dog becomes overly affectionate.
4. You have a hard time getting a waiter.
5. Exotic birds flock around you.
6. People ignore you at parties.
7. You have a hard time getting up in the morning.
8. You no longer get off on cocaine.
