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• How do make a cat float? Start with two scoops of cat...
• Q: How do you shoot a blue elephant? A: With a blue-elephant gun.
  Q: How do you shoot a pink elephant? A: Twist its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue-elephant gun....
• What's the difference between a JAP and an elephant?
  10 pounds. How do you get them to be the same? Force feed the elephant....
• Q: What's the difference between a duck and an elephant? A: You can't get down off an elephant.
• Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging? A: Take away his credit cards.
• What do you get if you cross an elephant with a grape? |grape| * |elephant| * sin(theta).
• Q: How do you tell if an Elephant has been making love in your backyard?
  A: If all your trashcan liners are missing ......
• Q: How can you tell if an elephant is having an affair with your wife?
  A: You have to wait 22 months....