Related:

• OPTIMIST, n. A proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
  A pessimist applied to God for relief. "Ah, you wish me to restore your hope and cheerfulness," said God....
• OPTIMIST: A proponent of the belief that black is white.
• After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from Heaven.
  As he passed through the Gates, he paused a moment in thought, and turned to God and said, "A new creature called Man, I hear, is soon to be created....
• After his Ignoble Disgrace, Satan was being expelled from Heaven.
  As he passed through the Gates, he paused a moment in thought, and turned to God and said, A new creature called Man, I hear, is soon to be created....
• INCOMPOSSIBLE, adj. Unable to exist if something else exists.
  Two things are incompossible when the world of being has scope enough for one of them, but not enough for both -- as Walt Whitman's poetry and God's mercy to man....
• In the begining, God created the Earth and he said, "Let there be mud.
  And there was mud. And God said, "Let Us make living creatures out of mud, so the mud can see what we have done....
• A man was praying to God one evening, and asked God, "God, in terms of the vastness of your power and knowledge, what does a million dollars mean to you?
  God replied, "A penny." Then the man asked, "And, in terms of the vastness of your power and knowledge, what does a million years mean to you?...
• One evening Mr. Rudolph Block, of New York, found himself seated at dinner alongside Mr.
  Percival Pollard, the distinguished critic. "Mr. Pollard," said he, "my book, "The Biography of a Dead Cow", is published anonymously, but you can hardly be ignorant of its authorship....