Related:

• NAPOLEON: What shall we do with this soldier, Guiseppe?
  Everything he says is wrong. GUISEPPE: Make him a general, Excellency, and then everything he says will be right....
• NAPOLEON: What shall we do with this soldier, Guiseppe?
  Everything he says is wrong. GUISEPPE: Make him a general, Excellency, and then everything he says will be right....
• NAPOLEON: What shall we do with this soldier, Giuseppe?
  Everything he says is wrong. GIUSEPPE: Make him a general, Excellency, and then everything he says will be right....
• A man is walking down the street when he sees a man with four arms, and antennae coming out of his head.
  He goes up to him and says, "You're not from around here, are you?...
• G. B. Shaw to William Douglas Home: "Go on writing plays, my boy.
  One of these days a London producer will go into his office and say to his secretary, 'Is there a play from Shaw this morning?...
• Lisa: Can I go downstairs and see what Dad's doing?
  Marge: I wouldn't bother him, honey. He's making some sort of model for a contest....
• The President's on line one. He wants to know is everything all right with the alien space craft from Planet 10 or should he go ahead and destroy Russia?
  "Tell him yes on one, no on two." "Which was yes, destroy Russia or number two?...