Related:

• Keep your laws off my body!
• Keep your values off my family.
• Mind has ideas my body can't keep up with!
• Keep your boss's boss off your boss's back.
• How come all the buttons keep flying off my shirt?
• Anonymous Noncoward writes, "For my Economics 101 class, I have to pretend to be Bill Gates and write an editorial defending Microsoft against anti-trust charges, citing economic principles.
  To complete such an assignment violates every moral fiber of my body....
• Please keep your hands off the secretary's reproducing equipment.
• I was playing with my navel. My mother said, "All righ
  keep playin' with your navel, pretty soon you're gonna break it wide open, the air's gonna come right out of your body, you'll fly around the room backwards for thirty seconds, land and be flat as a piece of paper, nothin' but your little eyes buggin' out....