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• Shine on, you crazy diamond!
• A diamond is a girl's best friend, but you have to be friendly to get one!
• If the customers don't want to come, you can't exactly keep them from it.
• You know, the difference between this company and the Titanic is that the Titanic had paying customers.
• May you be rich enough to afford only the best: a diamond truss, jeweled crutches, crystal eyes, and gold teeth.
• How many software engineers -- does it take to change a light bulb?
  Only one, but she's not available. She's the only programmer we have who can get the software ready to ship to customers, and that's higher priority, you know....
• Butter has now been replaced by margarine in Happy Pancake House restaurants throughout the southwestern United States.
  Only about 2 percent of customers have complained, indicating that 98 people out of 100 are happy with the change....
• You put a baby in a crib with an apple and a rabbit.
  If it eats the rabbit and plays with the apple, I'll buy you a new car. -- Harvey Diamond...