Related:

• G. B. Shaw to William Douglas Home: "Go on writing plays, my boy.
  One of these days a London producer will go into his office and say to his secretary, 'Is there a play from Shaw this morning?...
• Go on writing plays, my boy. One of these days a London producer will go into his office and say to his secretary, "Is there a play from Shaw this morning?
  and when she says "No," he will say, "Well, then we'll have to start on the rubbish....
• Jacques: First, you must get to know your lane. Feel the slickness, feel the slippery finish.
  Caresses it, experience it. Quite smooth, isn't it?...
• A Southern boy graduates from high school heads north to college, taking the family dog, Old Blue with him, for company.
  He's only been there a few weeks when he gets a call from his girlfriend...
• Chorus: Grandma got run over by a reindeer, Walking home from our house Christmas eve.
  You can say there's no such thing as Santa, But as for me and Grandpa, we believe!...
• In a forest a fox bumps into a little rabbit, and says, "Hi, Junior, what are you up to?
  "I'm writing a dissertation on how rabbits eat foxes," said the rabbit....
• Oh, my, but that little country boy could play ... go, go, go, Johnny, go .
  .. go, go, Johnny B. Goode -- Chuck Berry...
• A man was griping to his friend about how he hated to go home after a late card games.
  "You wouldn't believe what I go through to avoid waking my wife," he said....