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• If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit.
  No use being a damn fool about it. -- W.C. Fields [Also attributed to Roy Mengot. Ed.]...
• It seems like the less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.
• Statistics are like lampposts: they are good to lean on, but they don't shed much light.
  -- Storm P (Robert Storm-Petersen), 1882-1946, Danish black-and-white arti...
• Homer: I won't let them treat Poochie like dirt anymore just because he's the new guy.
  Roy: Right on, Mr. S! Homer: Put a sock in it, Roy. -- "The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show...
• If a cat spoke, it would say things like 'Hey, I don't see the *problem* here'. -- Roy Blount, Jr.