Related:

• Dammit, man, that's unprofessional! A good bartender laughs anyway! -- Doonesbury
• A man walked into a bar with his alligator and asked the bartender, "Do you serve lawyers here?
  . "Sure do," replied the bartender. "Good," said the man....
• Bartender, I'd like whatever the man on the floor was drinking.
• This man's dying! Dammit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a.... oh, right.
• What GOOD is a CARDBOARD suitcase ANYWAY? -- Zippy the Pinhead
• A little dog goes into a saloon in the Wild West, and beckons to the bartender.
  Hey, bartender, gimmie a whiskey." The bartender ignores him....
• Bart flicks a pocket knife open and closed repeatedly] Ma
  You call that a knife? _This_ is a knife. Ba...
• Sometimes a man will tell his bartender things he'll never tell his doctor.
  -- Dr. Phillip Boyce, "The Menagerie" ("The Cage"), stardate unknown....
• Lisa: Mom's police tape isn't a toy, Dad. Homer: Shush, dear.
  You'll wreck Daddy's fun. Ned: [walking up, singing] Bringing in the sheaves, bringing in the -- oh my Lord....