Related:

• I think someone should have had the decency to tell me the luncheon was free.
  To make someone run out with potato salad in his hand, pretending he's throwing up, is not what I call hospitality....
• On his was back to the lobby, his cigarettes forgotten, he had to walk the length of the ranked phones.
  Each rang in turn, but only once, as he passed. -- William Gibson, Neuromance...
• No man was ever taken to hell by a woman unless he already had a ticket in his pocket, or at least had been fooling around with timetables.
  -- Archie Goodwi...
• He who has had, has been, but he who hasn't been, has been had.
• There was a young man of Cape Horn Who wished he had never been born, And he wouldn't have been If his father had seen That the end of the rubber was torn.
• Mary had a little lamb, some wine, and a dinner salad.
• And he had a job, and he wore a hat, and he brought home the bacon so that noone knew.
• Think you, if Laura had been Petrarch's Wife, he would have written Sonnets all his life? -- Byro
• He had been bitten by a dog, but didn't give it much thought until he noticed that the wound was taking a remarkably long time to heal.
  Finally, he consulted a doctor who took one look at it and ordered the dog brought in....