Related:

• FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• PLAUDITS, n. Coins with which the populace pays those who tickle and devour it.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• BOTANY, n. The science of vegetables -- those that are not good to eat, as well as those that are.
  It deals largely with their flowers, which are commonly badly designed, inartistic in color, and ill- smelling....
• PRIMATE, n. The head of a church, especially a State church supported by involuntary contributions.
  The Primate of England is the Archbishop of Canterbury, an amiable old gentleman, who occupies Lambeth Palace when living and Westminster Abbey when dead....
• FOREFINGER, n. The finger commonly used in pointing out two malefactors.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• HAND, n. A singular instrument worn at the end of the human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• Hand, n.: A singular instrument worn at the end of a human arm and commonly thrust into somebody's pocket.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...
• RITE, n. A religious or semi-religious ceremony fixed by law, precept or custom, with the essential oil of sincerity carefully squeezed out of it.
  -- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary...