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• Whom are you?" said he, for he had been to night school. -- George Ade
• You can have a winner [in a nuclear war]. -- George Bush, 1980.
  In 1984, he said, ``I never said that.'' -- The original interview had been taped...
• When asked if he had missed school lately, the boy said `Not a bit.`
• Last night, I came home and realized that everything in my apartment had been stolen and replaced with an exact duplicate.
  I told this to my friend -- he said, `Do I know you?'" -- Steven Wrigh...
• Harry constantly irritated his friends with his eternal optimism.
  No matter how bad the situation, he would always say, "Well, it could have been worse....
• After being turned down by numerous publishers, he decided to write for posterity. -- George Ade
• A fellow told me he was going to hang-glider school.
  He said, "I've been going for three months." I said, "How many successful jumps do you need to make before you graduate?...
• My uncle staggered in the other night, loaded. His wife said, "Where have you been?
  He said, "I bought something for the house." She said, "What did you buy for the house?...