Related:

• Encyclopedia Salesmen: Invite them all in.
  Nip out the back door. Phone the police and tell them your house is being burgled....
• If little green men land in your back yard, hide any little green women you've got in the house.
  -- Mike Harding, "The Armchair Anarchist's Almanac...
• Gold, n.: A soft malleable metal relatively scarce in distribution.
  It is mined deep in the earth by poor men who then give it to rich men who immediately bury it back in the earth in great prisons, although gold hasn't done anything to them....