Related:

• Dear Lord: I just want *one* one-armed manager so I never have to hear On the other hand, again.
• Lord, please let me find a one-armed economist so we won't always hear "On the other hand.
  .." -- Edgar R. Fiedle...
• Dear Advertisers, I am disgusted with the way old people are depicted on television.
  We are not all vibrant, fun-loving sex maniacs. Many of us are bitter, resentful individuals who remember the good old days when entertainment was bland and inoffensive....
• Everthing is farther away than it used to be. It is even twice as far to the corner and they have added a hill.
  I have given up running for the bus; it leaves earlier than it used to....
• It's an old, seedy, run-down gymnasium on the lower West Side catering to young and old boxers.
  Amidst the yelling, the smell of fighters sweating, punching bags and each other, one of the boxers comes over to his corner following three rounds of heavy hitting and says to his manager, "I really want a shot at the kid, Kid Jackson....
• Marge: But on the other hand, when you don't take advantage of an opportunity, you can end up regretting it for the rest of your life.
  Homer: You're right, Marge. Just like the time I could have met Mr....
• I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one
  O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous." And God granted it. --Voltaire...